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"Machine Guns In Paradise"

9/30/2008


I.

Unicorn tripped over her own feet and almost fell when she spotted the body. She had been sprinting downhill through the deep forest not far from the Canadian border, and the sight of a stiff hand clutching up at empty air had caught her off guard. Most of the body was hidden under a loose pile of fallen leaves. Ashley Whitaker skidded to a stop and stared all around her with one hand on her dart gun.

For once, the little blonde was wearing the full field suit, including the waist-length jacket with its inner armor and the helmet with its light-enhancing visor. Of course, it was the all-white field suit she had demanded be specially made for her, but for her it was a step. Across her back in its conical leather sheath was the actual Unicorn horn that was her main talisman and which had given her her name in the Midnight War.

At twenty-eight, Ashley was only five feet tall and barely one hundred pounds but she was as fit as any Olympic athlete. Almost a decade of Kumundu training at Tel Shai had left her able to run through the woods for the past hour with her breathing barely faster than normal. She glared suspiciously all around her but could see nothing. Still, some instinct was warning her. Reaching up to the control panel on the ridge of her helmet, Unicorn adjusted the visor to telescopic function and studied the terrain in all directions again. Still nothing.

Reluctantly, she dropped her hand from the butt of her dart gun and went over to examine the body. It was a Cahill, all right, one of the brothers. From the condition of the shredded corpse, a large animal had ripped him up but not eaten any parts as far as she could tell. A bear, maybe? But would a bear have shoved the body into a pile of dry leaves and covered it up that way?

Ashley studied the corpse and decided it was the oldest of the crew, Lester Cahill. That left two more boys and a girl on the loose here in Washington State. The gruesome sight didn't bother her at all. She had been raised from childhood to be an adventurer by her mother Mary Cassidy, the first Unicorn.

Searching the body, she found its pockets still contained wallet, keys, cigarette lighter and an empty pack of Kools. The gunbelt still had a 9mm Browning in its holster and two clips of ammo. She confiscated these, stowing them in pouches in her jacket; if the other Cahills came by, it would be only prudent not to leave them another weapon and more ammunition. Unicorn straightened and slowly turned in a circle, still unable to shake an uneasy feeling.

She spotted something not far away, behind a fallen tree. It was a M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle with its barrel bent upward at a 90 degree angle. Now Unicorn was really alarmed. This was a powerful weapon, a light machine gun really, that used .30-06 Springfield cartridges. So here was Lester Cahill, wanted fugitive with all least three killings on his record, out in the open with a BAR in his hands. And something had still charged him, ripped him apart and then almost broken the gun in half.

Ashley stood there for a good five minutes before deciding to report. She reached up and twisted the left ear pod on her helmet two clicks counter-clockwise. Instantly, the decisive voice of Lauren Sable Reilly came into her ears as clearly as if she had been standing next to her.

"Unicorn? What's the situation?"

"Okay, I'm miles from nowhere in the wilderness of Washington State," she answered. "One of the Cahills is dead. Lester, the oldest one." Ashley described the scene in detail.

"I don't like this at all," Sable's voice snapped. "Jeremy has no cases on hand, I talked with him last night. We can send him out there to give you back-up."

"No, no, no. I can handle any assignment any other Tel Shai knight could. Everyone has to stop underestimating me." Unicorn turned slowly in a circle, still unable to shake the feeling of being watched. "Isn't this the area where those hikers vanished last year?"

"It is indeed," Sable said. "Well, you're wearing full Trom armor including helmet and thirty gimmicks, so you're as well protected as you're going to be. It does sound like there is something worse than the Cahill family out there to worry about."

"Yeah," Unicorn replied as she started walking in the direction she had been going. "Something Midnight War, I bet. Any reports of Trolls out here? Werewolves? Skinwalkers?"

"Not that I know of. Not even any Bigfoot sightings for years. All right, Unicorn, stay alert. I have to get back in the courtroom. As soon as Josef returns, though, I'm sending him to join you. No arguments. It's just common sense to have back-up."

"Okay, Sable," Ashley said. "I appreciate the concern. I'll report as soon as something happens. Unicorn out." She twisted the ear pod again and cut off communication. Hiking briskly downhill toward the valley where they figured the Cahills would be headed, she was more apprehensive than she would admit.

Stopping on a ridge, she suddenly felt stifled. Raising the visor, Unicorn took a deep breath of the clean late September air without having it pass through the helmet's filters. It was a gorgeous day and she knew she was sixty miles from the nearest town. She wished she had someone to talk to. Ashley was by nature a chatty person and she was used to going out on missions with a teammate. Megan was always fun, but she was always off on those "Trom Girl Mystery" things with Archie. It wouldn't kill those two to invite her along once in a while.

The face revealed within the helmet had finely cut features, with a slightly cleft chin, a straight nose and pale crystal blue eyes. A few wisps of the platinum hair had worked their way down over her forehead. Ashley was so used to being pretty that she long ago had taken it for granted, but to her credit she didn't use it as a tool. She just accepted that most people would be friendly and helpful to her. Right now, if she were in town, the worried expression on her face would invariably bring someone over to ask if she needed help.

Despite what she had told their captain Sable, Unicorn was slightly doubtful about her handling this assignment. Unlike her fellow KDF members like Argent or Josef, she had no extra powers. She was physically just a normal Human, even though she was highly skilled in Kumundu and had the enhanced healing that a decade of the tagra tea diet developed. Her specialty was the talisman strapped across her back, the Unicorn horn that could remove the gralic abilities of any enemy.

The problem was, she thought ruefully, the enemies this time didn't have gralic abilities. They were just a family from Kentucky that liked to go on killing sprees once in a while. She wasn't sorry that Lester Cahill had been killed, he had just had life in prison waiting for him if she had brought him in.

Her doubts passed in a second and she started trotting down toward the valley again. Years earlier, the Cahills had camped at a spot by Clifton Creek for an entire summer and Sable had thought it likely they might go there to lie low again. As she raced along at an easy pace, Unicorn kept wondering what the heck could be watching her that she couldn't spot? An animal of some kind, but what? Maybe it was just as well that she had confiscated Lester's 9mm.

Then she heard the short burst of automatic gunfire and a scream that ended abruptly. Ashley raced full tilt toward the source.

II.

As she hurtled out into a small clearing, Unicorn caught the barest glimpse of something horrifying as it disappeared behind a tree. It was human sized, thin and light brown and moving with a predator quickness. Something about it was so apalling, so unexpected, that Ashley cursed out loud and extended the Browning at full arm's length but did not quite fire. That thing had not been a person, she was sure of that, but as to what it was...

If it was something Midnight War, some unidentified creature with gralic powers, maybe her horn would be useful after all, she thought. Keeping her grip on the Browning, she unbuckled the strap across her chest and lowered the leather scabbard to the dirt. With one hand, looking around in all directions, Ashley drew the talisman out and placed it next to her. Without looking down, she drew the straps for the scabbard over one shoulder and stood up with the pistol in one hand and the horn in the other.

Three feet long, the Unicorn horn tapered from its flat base capped in silver to a sharp point. Ages ago, it had been ensorcelled by the Eldarin themselves to neutralize the gralic force in any being targeted by its weilder. How Ashley's mother had first gained possession of the horn had never been revealed but she had given it to her daughter when Ashley turned sixteen to become the second adventurer in the Midnight War using the code name 'Unicorn.'

Now she felt better prepared. Unicorn stepped over and gave the body quick glances without taking her attention away from her surroundings for more than a split-second. What a mess. So much blood. This had been the sister, the youngest of the Cahills. What was her name? Elizabeth. She was the only one of the crew who had never been convicted, but she had come close in Tennessee. Even with all her experience at death scenes, Ashley was taken aback at the violence with which Elizabeth had been ripped apart. Maybe it was just that she felt more empathy for another woman than she had for the first victim, but it sure seemed that the death had been unnecessarily brutal. Not many internal organs were still inside the torso. The jaw was missing.

Nearby, almost within the dead woman's reach, was a MAC-11. Ashley agreed the Ingram Model 11 would be a good choice for a person Elizabeth's size, no sense in carrying something too powerful for your grip and your control. The barrel was still hot. Ashley raised the Browning up into position, her Unicorn horn in her other hand, and scrutinized the woods surrounding her as if daring any monster to pop out.

Without seeming to make a decision, the little blonde spun and was running full blast across the clearing toward the spot where the beast had last been seen. She dove flat to the warm dusty ground and skittered around behind some birch trees just as two armed men entered the clearing warily. They were both big, beefy figures in camping clothes with knapsacks. One had a beer belly, the other sported a light brown ponytail that dangled through the back opening of his John Deere cap, but aside from that, they looked very much alike. Both were carrying BARs like the one their brother Lester had been using.

As Unicorn watched silently from concealment, the Cahill brothers found the still fresh remains of their little sister, her blood still wet. She listened to their crying and cursing and arguing with each other about whose fault it was. The one with the pony tail made a pathetic attempt to gather up Elizabeth's scattered parts but got sick to his stomach and ran into the bushes to vomit.

Watching their grief, Ashley naturally could not help being moved. But she remembered why she was here, why the police of five states were searching for these people and why the FBI's little-known Department 21 Black had asked her team to help with the manhunt. The Cahills were that rarity in crime, a serial killer family. They had taped themselves laughing while torturing underage victims and had mailed the tapes to the suffering families.

Any sympathy she felt for these two faded away. Ashley took aim with the Browning 9mm she had taken off Lester and gauged the distance. It was an iffy shot. Maybe she should try to creep around behind them. Then the most mellow and serene voice she had ever heard said clearly, "No.. Come this way..."

Looking around frantically, the Unicorn saw no one in sight. What the heck? Then she heard the voice again and realized it was being sent to her. "Come.. this way, come..." She had enough experience with telepaths to recognize what was going on. Something about that voice was infinitely comforting. The closest she had ever heard to such a reassuring tone was found in the ancient Teachers of Tel Shai themselves.

Still holding the horn in her left hand and the pistol in her right, she began crawling back away from the clearing, slowly and painstakingly making as little noise as possible. Once out of sight, she rose began walking quickly toward where the voice seemed to be coming from. It occured to her, of course, that the source of the telepathic call might be the vicious beast luring its victims but she felt as ready to confront it as she ever would be.

Ahead was a sort of lean-to, made of massive fallen trees braced against each other and covered with leafy branches. Ashley slowed her approach, made sure again her pistol had the safety off and crouched down to peer into the gloomy interior. "I guess you wanted to see me?" she asked.

Within a face covered with long red fur, unbearably sad deepsunken eyes met her gaze. The voice said, "Please... sit. There is much to discuss."

III.

Seating herself gingerly on the mat of woven twigs and dry leaves, Unicorn crossed her legs and studied her host. He was immense. The conical-skulled head alone was as big as her torso. The being's entire body was covered with long smooth fur the color of an Irish setter, but the hands and feet were bare and had black skin. He regarded her patiently.

"Okay, sorry, I have to say it," she blurted out. "Bigfoot?!"

"We have been called that, yes." The mellow voice still sounded in her head, and the being was not moving its mouth. When he did smile, he showed impressive teeth with the same omnivore variety as Humans had. "Before the white men, before the red men, there was a wave of brown men you still have not learned about. Some still survive in these forests. My kind was here... before even the brown men. Our story is old, older than this Age of the world can measure."

Ashley unlatched her helmet and tugged it off, letting her blonde-white pony tail fall free. She was grinning with a sheer delight that could not be forced. "Well, I am so glad. I always thought you guys were real! Have you got a name?"

"Yes.. it has been so long since I used it." The creature thought for a moment. "Meyasquamacos, yes."

"Are there a lot of you left? How do you hide--?"

The being cut her off with an upraised hand as big as her head. "No time... for talk about my kind. Listen to me. Fools have brought their violence here. Machine guns in Paradise, I have seen them. Their spirits are bent and unhealthy. But dangerous unknown beasts are hunting them in turn..."

"Two of the criminals are already dead," she said in a tiny voice.

Meyasquamacos bowed his massive head. "We unknown beasts never disappear from the Earth entirely. We are bound to it. There are still Gardinels in the swamps of the South. There are still hoop snakes and drop bears and Black Dogs. There always will be."

He paused in thought for so long that Ashley prompted him, "Ooooh-kay. And?"

"There is the Hide-Behind or Behinder," said the creature, staring thoughtfully into Unicorn's excited face. "He is a flesh-eater, so quick and so... devious. Few have seen him and lived! He is always behind his prey until he pounces."

"Oh my Goddd, that is the creepiest thing I've heard in a long time! So it's no good to just swing around real fast to get a look?"

"No. They are hideous.. even the Hide-Behind itself is horrified at its appearance. It is this beast, this Behinder, who has been killing the intruders. They have no chance against him. He is always behind them until he rips them apart."

Unicorn sat up sharply. "And he will want to kill ME too?"

"Yes... he is only a beast, he knows not right or wrong. I see your spirit is good. You are flawed like all Humans.. but you try to do what is right."

"Fair enough," she replied. "Yeah, I guess that's me. I'm no angel but I try to be good."

The shaggy being raised its open hand again. "That is why I decided to warn you. Despite the vow of my kind to remain hidden. While we have been here, the two intruders have been found by the Hide-Behind. They are dead."

Unicorn slowly picked up her helmet and lowered it down over her shining head with obvious reluctance. "Yikes. Not that I feel sorry for them but now I'm worried about myself. I have a fifteen mile walk back to my car and the Behinder will be on my err behind."

"Be brave," came the sedate voice of Meyasquamacos in her head. "You are clever. I see... the answer to your danger is already in your thoughts." He gestured to dismiss her. "Go now. We will not meet again."

As she got to her feet, Ashley stuck the Browning in a side pocket of her jacket and held the Unicorn horn like a baton. "I guess guns wouldn't help me any more than it did those guys. Jeeze. Well, anyway, thanks for your help and advice, Meyamakomos."

"Meyasquamacos."

"That's what I meant." As she headed out of the lean-to, the Unicorn gave the red-furred being a friendly farewell wave. "Who knows, maybe we can have lunch sometime!" And with that, she raced away. The giant creature exhaled sadly and leaned back against the earthen wall behind him. He lowered his head at the thought that the young one was in more danger than she realized.

IV.

Heading back the way she had come, Ashley glanced over at the sun's location and figured she could just get to where she had left the rented car before nightfall. She was twirling the Unicorn horn easily, still elated at having met a Bigfoot. A telepathic Bigfoot no less, who had told her that there had been an earlier wave of people into North America even before the proto-Indians. What an interesting thought, she wondered if anyone would believe her.

As she sprinted through the woods just short of actually running, the Unicorn hoped she could avoid stumbling over the remains of the two final Cahill boys. She had inspected enough chewed-up cadavers for one day. What was her report going to say? That was going to be tricky. Maybe she should just wait until the State Troopers and the National Guard found the torn up bodies and naturally blamed grizzly bears?

Then Unicorn felt the unmistakable tickling sensation on the back of her neck. She was being watched. It was worse than hitting the beach for the first time in a new bikini. With great effort, she did not spin around or try to peek over her shoulder. Meyasquamacos had warned that would be hopeless.

The feeling of dread was getting worse. She was wearing the full Trom armor under her field suit, but against a supernatural creature? Maybe it wouldn't work. And for her to use her horn to depower the beast, she would have to turn to face it and shout her mantra. In those few seconds, she could be turned into raw hamburger.

She had plenty of gadgets on her. In her field suit were tiny smoke bombs, a few of the blinding dazzlers, even tear gas cannisters the size of lipstick tubes... Wait. That gave her an idea. In the left inner top pocket of her field jacket, she kept some personal items. Of course, like any one else, she sometimes needed tissues, tweezers, emery boards or a little eyeliner and some blush for facial emergencies.

Ashley Whitaker reached inside that inner pocket and took out an item. She could almost feel hot breath on the back of her head. Without looking around, she whipped up her compact and held its mirror so it was facing over her shoulder directly behind her.

Something howled in distress. The sound of a heavy body hitting the ground crashed right behind her, then there was the padding of paws rushing away. That was all she needed to hear. Unicorn put her head down and raced through the woods as if she was trying to set a new world record. Miles flashed by. Even with all her training and conditioning, her ribs were beginning to hurt. After what seemed like ages, she spotted the rented Subaru Legacy parked under a tree just near a dirt road that led to the highway. She beeped the doors open with her keyfob, dove into the driver's seat with a thump and slammed the door behind her. Even in her distress, she stowed the irreplaceable horn on the floor in the back seat and made sure it was safe.

It wasn't until the car was barreling along the dirt road and she swerved out onto the main highway without even looking for traffic first that her heartbeat started to slow down. She pressed a hand to her chest and concentrated on getting her breathing down to its usual rate. She felt lightheaded and wanted to find a place to lie down for a while. Maybe a day or two.

Twisting the earpod on her helmet, Ashley contacted her captain back in New York and spewed out a rush of words. "Sable, Sable, hi! It's Unicorn, I'm fine, I'm okay. All four of the Cahills are dead but I didn't do it, they were killed by a thing called the Behinder that you can't see because it's always behind you! But I flashed the mirror in my compact at him and he ran away so he didn't bite my head off, oh and there was this telepathic Bigfoot that told me all about the Behinder and all the other crazy animals in the woods. What? I AM being serious. Sable! I am giving you my report. Where am I now? I'm, uh, on Route 73 heading south I think. I need to calm down. What? Sable, I don't think you're taking me seriously, when have you ever seen me even take one sip of beer!?..."

3/5/2016
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