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dochermes"Barnabas and Ben Have the Best Summer Ever"
6/11-5/12/1986
I.
The black helicopter CORBY had no markings on it, not a single identifying number or logo anywhere, and no external lights. It dropped down from the cloudy early morning sky so quietly that the effect was eerie. Even though the rotors were turning normally, somehow there was none of the normal deafening whooping roar helicopters made. The CORBY touched down at the small private airfield outside Danton, Illinois and was met by the owner at the corner spot indicated. One of the row of hangars was open, and Weaver taxied the stealthcopter into it as the rotors slowed to a halt. There were no other craft in that hangar, just the grease pit and assorted benches crowded with tools and equipment. No one was in sight other than the man who had been waiting for them.
Following them in, Eugene Conzensa thumbed the button that started the segmented steel door descending. Only when the door was closed did he seem to relax a little. Conzensa was in his early fifties and so short and overweight as to be almost round. He was wearing a white jumpsuit with CONZENSA AIR SERVICES in big letters across the back. His last name was on a tag over the left breast pocket and he had a dark blue cap pushed back on a balding head.
The pilot hatch hissed open as air escaped from the pressurized cabin. A tall lanky black man in a dark field suit swung down to the concrete floor. Stephen Weaver had a friendly, accessible face with a thick mustache over an easy smile. His skin was medium brown and his hair cut short. Closing the hatch behind him, Weaver shook the broad hand which Conzensa offered and said, "Hey, glad to meet you. The flight from New York was nothing special but I'm glad it's over."
"So you're the famous Black Angel," Conzensa said. "I'm ex-Air Force too, but I did my four years without actually leaving the country. It was a big help getting my pilot's license and setting up this company."
"We appreciate you letting us stow the CORBY here," replied Weaver. He placed an affectionate hand on the matte black finish of the fuselage next to him. "You know this bird is not exactly legal, right?"
"Like I care. My field is closed today, my staff is all away until Monday. Listen, do you know how I met Jeremy Bane?"
"No," Weaver said. "I bet it's an interesting story."
"Damn straight. Listen. Three years ago, I got in trouble with some local gangsters. I owed them money and couldn't make the interest. They were working under a freak named Golgora. Five of them had me tied to a chair in a cellar, with my shoes and socks off. One of them had just lit the blowtorch when the door was kicked off its hinges and your boss came charging in."
The Black Angel laughed out loud. "Oh man! I can imagine what happened next."
"Yeah. I could hardly follow him, he moved so fast. Jeremy tore through five big tough bruisers as if they were puppies. Before I realized what was going on, he had them all stretched out on the floor. I found out later that one of them died on the way to the hospital and another one had blurred vision as a permanent after-effect. Not one of them laid a hand on him."
"That's my boy," Weaver said. "Dire Wolf, all right."
"Jeremy set me loose and explained he was on the trail of Golgora. He found out I had been abducted and set out after me immediately. Before he left town, he settled with the local kingpin that I would be left alone and in fact, I haven't been bothered since." Conzensa raised both hands in a helpless gesture. "I told him I owed him my life and my peace of mind, he could have everything I owned. And you know what he said? He said, forget it."
"There's only one Dire Wolf," Weaver said. "The more I hear about his past actions, the more glad I am to be his teammate. So, that's why you're letting us stow this bird here?"
"Yeah. Jeremy called me and asked if I would do him a favor. Of course I said, 'Hell yes.' As far as anyone will ever know, you were never here with this top secret chopper." Conzensa snapped his fingers as he remembered something. "And he leased a car for you in his name. Brand new Honda Prelude, sweet wheels. It's waiting outside with the keys in it and the papers all arranged."
"Great. I understand Jeremy will be here himself tonight or early tomorrow, he's in Nevada right now finishing something up. Oh, I don't think you've met my partner here."
Eugene Conzensa gave a violent start as he realized a small Asian woman was standing right next to him. "Goddam! Don't DO that! How long you been there?!"
Barely five feet tall, Tang Ming weighed an even hundred pounds on a good day. She was wearing soft slippers, dark brown slacks and an olive-green tunic with loose sleeves. Still a teenager, the young Chinese girl seemed embarrassed at having startled the man. "Sorry," she said. "I am naturally unobtrusive."
"Eugene, this is my teammate Tang Ming. She does that without realizing it," Black Angel apologized. Now, you realize we're looking for a bad guy who kind of stands out in a crowd, right? Six foot seven, shaved head, hazel eyes. Really dangerous. Do you have any sightings of a beast like that?"
"No, no, I think I'd definitely remember seeing someone like that, for sure. What IS weird about this area is the Finkle family. Two boys about nine or ten, not bad kids at all but.. well, the things they get into...they're just bizarre. I dunno, I guess you just have to go investigate and see for yourself."
Weaver went to slide open a hatch in the rear of the CORBY and took out two bulky knapsacks and a metal equipment case. As he handed one of the knapsacks to Ming, he laughed, "Well, come on now Eugene, you can't just tease us like that. What are these kids up to?"
"It's too hard to explain," Conzena said, shaking his head. "Wait until you see their galloping tortoise."
II.
After stowing their gear in the trunk of the Prelude, Weaver made sure to unpack an anesthetic dart gun and holster it in the small of his back, where the field suit jacket covered it. Ming seldom used the weapons, although she had been trained in their use. She also declined the silk-thin bulletproof Trom armor that the other KDF members habitually wore under their clothing. Her rationale was that her abilities relied on her enhanced perception and fine sense of balance and co-ordination. Armor and weapons threw these qualities off, or so she claimed.
Hurrying over to claim the driver's seat, the young Chinese girl said, "I managed to stay awake on the flight here. At least let me drive now."
"Okay with me," Weaver answered. He slid into the passenger side and adjusted the seat back to accomodate his long legs. "Just how many people do you think there are that help our captain out because he saved their lives or rescued their families from some maniac?"
"I would hate to guess. He did tell me that he never accepted rewards. Instead, he asked that the people he helped keep an eye out for paranormal activity instead. That's how he found out Karl Eldritch was back. A friend spotted Eldritch at the airport and phoned Jeremy back in Manhattan." Ming eased onto the access road from Conzensa Airfield and up a hill toward the main highway. She paused at the yield sign but then pulled out without seeming to look either way.
This did not trouble Weaver. He had faith in Tang Ming's uncanny perception. She could pluck a moth out of the air in a dark room, open a combination lock by sensing how the tumblers fell, walk straight at a gunman firing at point blank range and sidestep just that half inch enough to avoid being hit. If she felt no car was coming, it was good enough for him.
"I'm starving," Black Angel announced. "If we see a diner, I demand a pit stop."
Ming grinned and this made her look about twelve years old. Her glossy black hair was cut to just reach her collar, the bangs touched her eyebrows, and the combination of huge dark eyes, a snub nose and a soft rose petal mouth all gave her a doll like quality. "When are you ever not hungry?" she chuckled. "You eat too much meat! I can smell beef whenever you are near."
"Oh, there are worse things for your diet to make you smell like, honey. Believe me. Anyway. You never met Karl Eldritch, did you?"
"No," she admitted. "Of course I have read his file. He is obsessed with the lost science of ancient Zhune. Jeremy seems to really hate confronting Eldritch because each time the man has unearthed a Zhune relic with some unlikely power. Our captain dislikes this because he never knows what to expect." By now, they were rolling through more settled areas, with an increasing number of motels and swimming pool companies and used car lots on either side. "I do not see a restaurant yet," she added.
Leaning back against the headrest, Weaver closed his eyes and shifted to get comfortable. "I do want to warn you, Ming. If we come face to face with Eldritch, he's incredibly dangerous. I'm not sure I'm explaining this right. Eldritch knows how to convert energy into matter and matter into energy by thinking about it. I've seen him take a tiny portion of his own body mass, like maybe a few skin cells, and blast out pure atomic fire that cuts through anything."
"Really?" asked Tang Ming. "That's hard to imagine. How can you defend against something like that?"
"There's the problem right there. Nothing works as a shield. The other bad angle is that Eldritch can repair any damage done to himself by taking in any energy from sunlight to electric current and making it into matter to rebuild his body. It's so weird. Jeremy actually blew a hole in Eldritch that vaporized his heart and left enough room to stick your arm through... and the bastard still came back as if nothing had happened in a few days."
Ming was silent for a few minutes. Then, as if breaking off her train of thought with effort, she said, "Do you have any plan for dealing with this man, Stephen?"
"Not really," he admitted. "Frankly, the guy scares the hell out of me. I guess we just improvise and find a way to just get rid of him for a while."
"Hah! Stephen, I see one of the Houses of Pancakes. Do you eat there?"
"Oh, sure. Pull in, Ming. I like the Belgian waffles with sliced bananas and some bacon on the side." Weaver sniffed the air as they rolled up to the familiar franchise building. "How about you?"
"Your portions are so big. I feel intimidated. Maybe I will have two eggs and a piece of toast?" She seemed apologetic as she unbuckled her seat belt. "At least we can think things over for a while before we go to see this alleged galloping tortoise...!"
III.
Just before eleven in the morning, they came to a stop in a residential neighborhood clearly in one of the better parts of town. The houses were all in perfect shape, the yards well kept and free of clutter except for an occasional bicycle or stroller. On one porch, an elderly couple sat in wicker chairs and studied the local newspaper while their Golden Lab sat guarding them with happy pride. The address they sought was at the end of Birch Street, a three story house of dark wood with an attached garage. Ming brought the leased Honda to a stop in front of the mailbox that read FINKLE.
"I can't get over how much open space there is," she told Weaver. "Back home seems so crowded in comparison. We lived on top of each other and were very content that way."
"You haven't been out in the wide world long," Black Angel said. He pulled his wire-rimmed sunglasses down to study the area. "This town is so damn WHITE. Ming, the two of us really stand out. Don't worry if we draw a few stares."
The Chinese girl stepped out of the car and stood with her hands open, palms up, in front of her. Her eyes closed to slits as she took in her surroundings. "Stephen, there is potent gralic force here. Very strong. Not harmful but neutral. Like the ocean waves crashing."
Weaver came over next to her. Only an inch or so over six feet tall, he seemed taller because of his long arms and legs. The Black Angel said, "What I hear is kids laughing and screaming. Come on, let's get started."
They walked up to the front door of the Finkle house. Across the bottom of the big picture window was a wooden box holding red and blue flowers. Ming rang the doorbell and hopped back as an agitated teenage girl immediately flung the screen door open with a slam.
"What?!" yelled the girl on a rising note. "What else could possibly be going on?" The girl looked about fifteen, a thin blonde with her hair tied back in a ponytail. Oddly, she was wearing a red T-shirt several sizes too small that left her torso exposed below the ribcage. Her other garment was a pair of khaki pants much too large that she was holding up with both hands. The girl seemed worked up to near hysteria.
In his best professional manner, Weaver said, "Good morning. We're looking for Greg or Pamela Finkle."
"They're both at work. And that leaves me here to try to keep my little brothers out of trouble. As IF! You wouldn't believe what they're up to today. This summer will never end." As she started to gesture, her pants fell down and she barely caught them in time. "Whoop."
From inside the house came a rapid drumming noise on the floor. The girl stepped aside and, as Weaver and Ming stared with their mouths falling open, a big land tortoise raced through the open door and out into the yard. It was running like a dog. The sight of an ungainly creature like that moving so quickly caught the KDF members off guard.
"The galloping tortoise..?" Tang Ming gasped.
"Oh, never mind him. That's Tobias. He just ate a whole head of iceberg lettuce and now he's excited. Listen, come with me. I have to see what those brats are wrecking now." The girl hitched up her sagging pants again, tried vainly to pull her T-shirt down past her ribs and led them around the side of the house to the back yard.
"My name's Taffy," she explained. "What exactly do you want with Mom and Dad anyway? Dang these clothes!" The tortoise came charging across the lawn to follow them, sniffing at Ming's pants cuff like a dog.
The expansive back yard was bordered by a white picket fence from the property next to them. Weaver and Ming stopped to stare at a crowd of a dozen preteens all screaming and giggling in excitement. A chubby boy in a green polo shirt and jeans stepped onto a copper plate four feet across. On the other side of the yard, a girl in a yellow sundress hopped up on to an identical copper plate. There was a blinding white flash of light that dazzled the eyes and, when it faded, the boy and girl were somehow wearing each other's clothes. The watching crowd of kids shrieked in delight, hopping up and down.
Black Angel noticed that all the children were wearing clothes that didn't fit or seemed gender inappropriate mostly with skirts on boys and long baggy shorts on girls. Had they all been switching their outfits? He met Ming's confused stare and shrugged. "I can't explain it either."
"Barnabas and Ben!" snapped Taffy. "You two are in such trouble. I called Mom, you two are gonna be so busted."
IV.
Standing next to a redwood picnic table covered with odd devices made of the copper-colored metal were two boys about nine years old. They smiled at Taffy's tirade with affectionate tolerance. The smaller of the two had bristling red hair and a pointed nose that dominated his face. His brother was a few inches taller, had brown hair combed straight back and a more serious, thoughtful face. Both boys were wearing dark blue shorts and white polo shirts with horizontal stripes. The smaller brother's shirt had red stripes, the taller one had green stripes.
"Hi, sis!" sang out the smaller boy happily.
"Don't you 'hi sis' me, Barnabus. These brats had better get their own clothes back on right now or else!" Taffy yelled.
"You look kinda uncomfortable in Singh's shirt and Rocky's pants," Barnabus observed. "Why don't you step up on the transfer plate and see if you get something that fits a little better?"
While Taffy argued with her brothers, Stephen Weaver looked over the assorted gadgets on the picnic table. All were crafted of the metal which first seemed to be copper but which had more of a hot ruddy sheen to it. There was a shallow basin-type helmet with vertical ear protectors and a dial on top. There was a sort of sceptre ending in an oval bulb, several round discs holding cloudy glass lenses and a few devices which seemed to be just irregular scraps of metal.
Ming had come over to see what he was doing. "Are these the Zhune relics you mentioned?"
"I think so. Very ancient, I guess they date back to just after the Darthan Age. This is what Karl Eldritch will be looking for." A stack of thick hardbound books sat on one end of the table. Black Angel read the titles. PROBLEMS IN QUANTUM PHYSICS. SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES UNISON THEORY. ADVANCES IN OMNIVERSAL THINKING. He blinked.
Seeing Barnabus watching him, Weaver asked, "Aren't you boys a little young to be reading college level textbooks?"
"Yes," said Barnabus casually. "Yes, we are."
At this point, Taffy Finkle stomped her feet and went off fuming, muttering something about getting some of her own clothes from her room. The oversized pants fell down one final time, tangling up her legs but she got back up again and stamped away with a red face. Ming was distracted for a second as the tortoise Tobias got up on its hind legs as if begging for food and then raced off across the yard. She shook her head and turned her attention to the two boys who were staring at her. "Hello. Hi, my name is Tang Ming. This is my friend Stephen. So, you two are Barnabus and Ben, I guess. These artifacts belong to you boys?"
"Absolutely," Barnabus said. "Ben and I dug them up in the corner of the yard. We were looking for Indian arrowheads but these gadgets are so much more fun. Would you and your friend like to switch clothes?"
This offer caught Tang Ming offguard and the mental image struck her as so amusing that she was reduced to helpless giggling. Weaver stepped in, pointing at the Zhune relics on the table. "Those devices are incredibly old," he explained. "How did you guys know how to use them?"
"Oh, it was easy. The helmet teaches you." Barnabus went over and clicked the dial on top of the helmet clockwise. "I like science, I'm a nerd, I admit it. The helmet showed me how matter and energy are really the same thing, it's just how you look at it."
"Really," Weaver said. He hesitated, uncertain how to handle this situation.
So far, the taller brother Ben had not spoken. He just watched and listened. From time to time, he glanced contentedly over at the gaggle of over-excited kids rejoicing in wearing the wrong clothes and looking ridiculous in them.
"So, ummm... Ah, what else do these Zhune gadgets do, Barnabus?" asked Weaver. He started to reach for the sceptre, but the little redhead cleared his throat as a warning.
"They won't work for anyone but me and Ben, mister. That's because we were the ones who put on the helmet. So far, these have been the best toys ever. That horn shrinks people down to a few inches tall for an hour. That baton we haven't tried yet. We're saving it for tomorrow...."
Watching with hands clasped behind her, Tang Ming finally managed to keep a serious expression on her face. She leaned forward. "I don't see where you boys are doing any harm. My perception tells me that the charge powering these artifacts is running down. I don't think they will function much longer, to be honest."
"As long as they help us have the best summer ever!" Barnabus said. He was almost knocked down as the tortoise charged up and slammed headlong into his legs. The redheaded boy reached down and started scratched the reptile under the chin, which seemed to please it immensely. "Hey, Tobias, who's a good boy then? Huh?"
"You don't normally see a tortoise race around like that," Weaver said, unable to believe the words which were coming out of his mouth. "Did you do that to him with one of these gimmicks?"
"Wellll, not exactly. Tobias ate one of the toys. It was a little thing, like a button with two studs on one size. He used to be small enough you could carry him in one hand," Barnabus explained. "I didn't expect him to be so active. Usually, they don't do much."
"Hopefully, he has stopped growing," said Ben, speaking for the first time in a rather deep voice for a nine year old.
Tang Ming abruptly grabbed Weaver by one arm. "Stephen! Something is approaching. Hostile gralic force, anger, strength.. Be ready. We are in great danger."
"Maybe we should get away from these children," Black Angel said. He looked over at the crowd. Some of the boys were swapping shirts to get their own back, and two of the girls had gone behind a tree to trade shorts. "We don't want to endanger them...."
Before they could relocate, a car door slammed and a huge hulk in a tailored suit complete with vest and matching handkerchief loomed up around the corner of the house. Everyone froze where they were. Even the galloping tortoise skidded to a halt.
V.
It was not just his great size or his sour attitude that made Karl Eldritch so intimidating. On a subconscious level, people recognized that here was a seething mass of primal energy that their brains did not know how to process. Years earlier, the warlock had learned the ultimate secret of ancient Zhune. The conversion of matter into energy and energy into matter made him, for all practical purposes, immortal and indestructible. Even Tel Shai knights like Stephen Weaver and Tang Ming shrank back unknowingly in his presence.
The tension of the moment was broken because, at that instant, one of the girls stepped on a copper plate even though no one was on the other disc for the switch. In a vague flash of light, her clothes appeared on the other plate and she was left standing there naked. Her piercing scream rang out for miles and she leaped over to snatch up her clothing quicker than any Olympic athlete could have matched. The girl dove headfirst into the bushes, out of sight, and started climbing back into her jeans and shirt.
"Haw-HAW!" laughed one kid. "Did anyone see a plucked chicken just run past?"
"I do NOT look like a chicken!" yelled the girl from the bushes. After this, the crowd of children went back to their former level of giggling and running around in circles for no discernible reason. At this point, almost all of them were wearing clothes which were not their own and which fit them as poorly as you might expect.
Even Karl Eldritch had been distracted by these shenanigans despite himself. When he sternly swung around again to face the two KDF members, he did not notice Tang Ming's hand dropping away from the Zhune helmet on the table. The giant warlock went over and bent low over the ancient relics.
"More treasures from the lost wisdom of the ancients," he rumbled in a bass so deep it was difficult to understand. He glared up at Tang Ming and scowled. "You are not familiar. We have not met before. But you.. the levitator, the so-called Black Angel, we have crossed paths more than once."
"I thought that giant squid ate you," Weaver said. "At least, that's what everyone hoped."
Beneath shaggy brows, the hazel eyes focused on his enemies like weapons. "By now, you fools should realize that I cannot be killed. I am immortal. The most you can do is put me at an inconvenience for a short time. But before we conclude this meeting, where is your leader?"
"Oh, you never know," Weaver replied lightly. "He might be sneaking up behind you right now."
"Bah. You waste my time and yours." Eldritch reached down and lifted the copper-colored basin helmet, turning it from side to side.
"Hey, mister," Barnabus yelled. "Those are ours! We dug them up in our yard and they are our property."
"Silence! I do not normally slay children." Eldritch raised the helmet and prepared to lower it onto his shaven head. "These Zhune relics are almost out of charge. Soon they will be of no use to anyone but myself."
"That's it, I'm calling Dad. Come on, Ben." But the boy stopped short as Tang Ming placed a slim hand on his shoulder.
"Trust me, Barnabus," she said in almost a whisper. "Everything will turn out for the best."
Placing the helmet firmly on his huge bald dome, Eldritch smiled for the first time anyone could remember. "This was the teaching device Zhune scholars used for new students. I see its effect explains how these urchins can use the Zhune artifacts at all. I will give the helmet a full charge..."
Intolerably bright white energy crackled around the helmet, casting strange shadows and leaving everyone with dark spots swimming in front of their eyes. For a moment, no one moved. Then they noticed Karl Eldritch was standing still, arms hanging down at his side, his face blank. His mouth hung open slackly.
Seeing this, Weaver stepped closer. "Now what?"
Tang Ming came up beside him, got up on her toes and barely managed to lift the helmet off the warlock's head. The metal was warm to the touch. "I believe everything will be all right now."
"What the hell? He seems kinda, well.. brain-dead."
The Chinese girl replaced the helmet to the picnic table and smiled at the baffled Barnabus and Ben. "When your friend distracted everyone by going all natural, I took advantage of the moment. I twisted the dial on the helmet all the way around. It seems to have worked."
"You set it to reverse!" Black Angel laughed. "Oh, that's perfect. Instead of feeding information into his mind, the helmet drained everything out."
"I like him better this way," Tang Ming admitted. Eldritch still had not moved. She folded her arms and regarded him warily. "We'll meet Jeremy at the airfield, he can take charge of this monster. I am uncomfortable just standing next to him."
"Sounds good. Tell you what, We'll haul this big galoot into his own car and I'll drive it back to where the CORBY is stored. You follow in the rental car. Kids, I'm afraid I have bad news."
The little redeaded boy was visibly deflated but he was trying to be brave. "You're gonna take the toys, aren't you?"
"I'm afraid we have to. Not that I don't want you to have fun with them. But this guy here will revert to normal sooner or later. He'll come back to claim these relics and I have to tell you, he's a wicked man. He'll hurt you and your family without thinking twice. I hope you understand."
"I guess," Barnabus grumbled, kicking at the dirt with the toe of his sneaker. "But I don't have to like it."
Tang Ming squatted down in front of the two nine year olds. "I am so sorry, boys. But maybe we can make it up to you. I will come back in a day or so and give everyone kung fu lessons. Does that sound okay?"
"Sure. You know kung fu?"
"I've studied since childhood," she told them. "Free lessons for everyone and I'll even do some tricks. You can throw coins from across the yard and I'll catch them blindfolded. Okay?"
"That does sound cool. Deal!"
Weaver and Ming loaded Karl Eldritch and the Zhune relics into the cars, made final apologies and promised to return. "This was the least violent case I've ever been on," Black Angel chuckled. After they drove away, the children settled down and gradually began swapping their clothes back so they wouldn't get in trouble when they went home. The party was definitely winding down. Not long after that, the older Finkle sibling came charging into the yard with their mother in tow.
"You see? You see what they're doing!" Taffy yelled and then her voice trailed down, "They're... just kind of.. standing around?"
Mrs Finkle made an exasperated clucking sound and went back inside the house. "One of these days, Taffy, your imagination is going to get you in trouble."
Suppertime seemed close because the children began to drift away from the yard, waving goodbye and calling out cheery farewells. One girl sang out, "I'll come by tomorrow to see whatcha doing!"
Barnabus turned to his slightly older brother. "Well, Ben, that was an amazing day. And you know what I didn't remember to tell those grown-ups?"
"No," Ben replied in his usual taciturn way.
"That helmet! It sort of fired my imagination up, Ben. I can visualize how to build all sorts of neat things like a solar-powered roller coaster or a pool under the surface of the lawn. My brain is just racing! We've got the whole summer to invent amazing things, Ben." He was interrupted as the tortoise galloped up and bumped into his shins. "Oh, there you are, Tobias."
8/21/2016
6/11-5/12/1986
I.
The black helicopter CORBY had no markings on it, not a single identifying number or logo anywhere, and no external lights. It dropped down from the cloudy early morning sky so quietly that the effect was eerie. Even though the rotors were turning normally, somehow there was none of the normal deafening whooping roar helicopters made. The CORBY touched down at the small private airfield outside Danton, Illinois and was met by the owner at the corner spot indicated. One of the row of hangars was open, and Weaver taxied the stealthcopter into it as the rotors slowed to a halt. There were no other craft in that hangar, just the grease pit and assorted benches crowded with tools and equipment. No one was in sight other than the man who had been waiting for them.
Following them in, Eugene Conzensa thumbed the button that started the segmented steel door descending. Only when the door was closed did he seem to relax a little. Conzensa was in his early fifties and so short and overweight as to be almost round. He was wearing a white jumpsuit with CONZENSA AIR SERVICES in big letters across the back. His last name was on a tag over the left breast pocket and he had a dark blue cap pushed back on a balding head.
The pilot hatch hissed open as air escaped from the pressurized cabin. A tall lanky black man in a dark field suit swung down to the concrete floor. Stephen Weaver had a friendly, accessible face with a thick mustache over an easy smile. His skin was medium brown and his hair cut short. Closing the hatch behind him, Weaver shook the broad hand which Conzensa offered and said, "Hey, glad to meet you. The flight from New York was nothing special but I'm glad it's over."
"So you're the famous Black Angel," Conzensa said. "I'm ex-Air Force too, but I did my four years without actually leaving the country. It was a big help getting my pilot's license and setting up this company."
"We appreciate you letting us stow the CORBY here," replied Weaver. He placed an affectionate hand on the matte black finish of the fuselage next to him. "You know this bird is not exactly legal, right?"
"Like I care. My field is closed today, my staff is all away until Monday. Listen, do you know how I met Jeremy Bane?"
"No," Weaver said. "I bet it's an interesting story."
"Damn straight. Listen. Three years ago, I got in trouble with some local gangsters. I owed them money and couldn't make the interest. They were working under a freak named Golgora. Five of them had me tied to a chair in a cellar, with my shoes and socks off. One of them had just lit the blowtorch when the door was kicked off its hinges and your boss came charging in."
The Black Angel laughed out loud. "Oh man! I can imagine what happened next."
"Yeah. I could hardly follow him, he moved so fast. Jeremy tore through five big tough bruisers as if they were puppies. Before I realized what was going on, he had them all stretched out on the floor. I found out later that one of them died on the way to the hospital and another one had blurred vision as a permanent after-effect. Not one of them laid a hand on him."
"That's my boy," Weaver said. "Dire Wolf, all right."
"Jeremy set me loose and explained he was on the trail of Golgora. He found out I had been abducted and set out after me immediately. Before he left town, he settled with the local kingpin that I would be left alone and in fact, I haven't been bothered since." Conzensa raised both hands in a helpless gesture. "I told him I owed him my life and my peace of mind, he could have everything I owned. And you know what he said? He said, forget it."
"There's only one Dire Wolf," Weaver said. "The more I hear about his past actions, the more glad I am to be his teammate. So, that's why you're letting us stow this bird here?"
"Yeah. Jeremy called me and asked if I would do him a favor. Of course I said, 'Hell yes.' As far as anyone will ever know, you were never here with this top secret chopper." Conzensa snapped his fingers as he remembered something. "And he leased a car for you in his name. Brand new Honda Prelude, sweet wheels. It's waiting outside with the keys in it and the papers all arranged."
"Great. I understand Jeremy will be here himself tonight or early tomorrow, he's in Nevada right now finishing something up. Oh, I don't think you've met my partner here."
Eugene Conzensa gave a violent start as he realized a small Asian woman was standing right next to him. "Goddam! Don't DO that! How long you been there?!"
Barely five feet tall, Tang Ming weighed an even hundred pounds on a good day. She was wearing soft slippers, dark brown slacks and an olive-green tunic with loose sleeves. Still a teenager, the young Chinese girl seemed embarrassed at having startled the man. "Sorry," she said. "I am naturally unobtrusive."
"Eugene, this is my teammate Tang Ming. She does that without realizing it," Black Angel apologized. Now, you realize we're looking for a bad guy who kind of stands out in a crowd, right? Six foot seven, shaved head, hazel eyes. Really dangerous. Do you have any sightings of a beast like that?"
"No, no, I think I'd definitely remember seeing someone like that, for sure. What IS weird about this area is the Finkle family. Two boys about nine or ten, not bad kids at all but.. well, the things they get into...they're just bizarre. I dunno, I guess you just have to go investigate and see for yourself."
Weaver went to slide open a hatch in the rear of the CORBY and took out two bulky knapsacks and a metal equipment case. As he handed one of the knapsacks to Ming, he laughed, "Well, come on now Eugene, you can't just tease us like that. What are these kids up to?"
"It's too hard to explain," Conzena said, shaking his head. "Wait until you see their galloping tortoise."
II.
After stowing their gear in the trunk of the Prelude, Weaver made sure to unpack an anesthetic dart gun and holster it in the small of his back, where the field suit jacket covered it. Ming seldom used the weapons, although she had been trained in their use. She also declined the silk-thin bulletproof Trom armor that the other KDF members habitually wore under their clothing. Her rationale was that her abilities relied on her enhanced perception and fine sense of balance and co-ordination. Armor and weapons threw these qualities off, or so she claimed.
Hurrying over to claim the driver's seat, the young Chinese girl said, "I managed to stay awake on the flight here. At least let me drive now."
"Okay with me," Weaver answered. He slid into the passenger side and adjusted the seat back to accomodate his long legs. "Just how many people do you think there are that help our captain out because he saved their lives or rescued their families from some maniac?"
"I would hate to guess. He did tell me that he never accepted rewards. Instead, he asked that the people he helped keep an eye out for paranormal activity instead. That's how he found out Karl Eldritch was back. A friend spotted Eldritch at the airport and phoned Jeremy back in Manhattan." Ming eased onto the access road from Conzensa Airfield and up a hill toward the main highway. She paused at the yield sign but then pulled out without seeming to look either way.
This did not trouble Weaver. He had faith in Tang Ming's uncanny perception. She could pluck a moth out of the air in a dark room, open a combination lock by sensing how the tumblers fell, walk straight at a gunman firing at point blank range and sidestep just that half inch enough to avoid being hit. If she felt no car was coming, it was good enough for him.
"I'm starving," Black Angel announced. "If we see a diner, I demand a pit stop."
Ming grinned and this made her look about twelve years old. Her glossy black hair was cut to just reach her collar, the bangs touched her eyebrows, and the combination of huge dark eyes, a snub nose and a soft rose petal mouth all gave her a doll like quality. "When are you ever not hungry?" she chuckled. "You eat too much meat! I can smell beef whenever you are near."
"Oh, there are worse things for your diet to make you smell like, honey. Believe me. Anyway. You never met Karl Eldritch, did you?"
"No," she admitted. "Of course I have read his file. He is obsessed with the lost science of ancient Zhune. Jeremy seems to really hate confronting Eldritch because each time the man has unearthed a Zhune relic with some unlikely power. Our captain dislikes this because he never knows what to expect." By now, they were rolling through more settled areas, with an increasing number of motels and swimming pool companies and used car lots on either side. "I do not see a restaurant yet," she added.
Leaning back against the headrest, Weaver closed his eyes and shifted to get comfortable. "I do want to warn you, Ming. If we come face to face with Eldritch, he's incredibly dangerous. I'm not sure I'm explaining this right. Eldritch knows how to convert energy into matter and matter into energy by thinking about it. I've seen him take a tiny portion of his own body mass, like maybe a few skin cells, and blast out pure atomic fire that cuts through anything."
"Really?" asked Tang Ming. "That's hard to imagine. How can you defend against something like that?"
"There's the problem right there. Nothing works as a shield. The other bad angle is that Eldritch can repair any damage done to himself by taking in any energy from sunlight to electric current and making it into matter to rebuild his body. It's so weird. Jeremy actually blew a hole in Eldritch that vaporized his heart and left enough room to stick your arm through... and the bastard still came back as if nothing had happened in a few days."
Ming was silent for a few minutes. Then, as if breaking off her train of thought with effort, she said, "Do you have any plan for dealing with this man, Stephen?"
"Not really," he admitted. "Frankly, the guy scares the hell out of me. I guess we just improvise and find a way to just get rid of him for a while."
"Hah! Stephen, I see one of the Houses of Pancakes. Do you eat there?"
"Oh, sure. Pull in, Ming. I like the Belgian waffles with sliced bananas and some bacon on the side." Weaver sniffed the air as they rolled up to the familiar franchise building. "How about you?"
"Your portions are so big. I feel intimidated. Maybe I will have two eggs and a piece of toast?" She seemed apologetic as she unbuckled her seat belt. "At least we can think things over for a while before we go to see this alleged galloping tortoise...!"
III.
Just before eleven in the morning, they came to a stop in a residential neighborhood clearly in one of the better parts of town. The houses were all in perfect shape, the yards well kept and free of clutter except for an occasional bicycle or stroller. On one porch, an elderly couple sat in wicker chairs and studied the local newspaper while their Golden Lab sat guarding them with happy pride. The address they sought was at the end of Birch Street, a three story house of dark wood with an attached garage. Ming brought the leased Honda to a stop in front of the mailbox that read FINKLE.
"I can't get over how much open space there is," she told Weaver. "Back home seems so crowded in comparison. We lived on top of each other and were very content that way."
"You haven't been out in the wide world long," Black Angel said. He pulled his wire-rimmed sunglasses down to study the area. "This town is so damn WHITE. Ming, the two of us really stand out. Don't worry if we draw a few stares."
The Chinese girl stepped out of the car and stood with her hands open, palms up, in front of her. Her eyes closed to slits as she took in her surroundings. "Stephen, there is potent gralic force here. Very strong. Not harmful but neutral. Like the ocean waves crashing."
Weaver came over next to her. Only an inch or so over six feet tall, he seemed taller because of his long arms and legs. The Black Angel said, "What I hear is kids laughing and screaming. Come on, let's get started."
They walked up to the front door of the Finkle house. Across the bottom of the big picture window was a wooden box holding red and blue flowers. Ming rang the doorbell and hopped back as an agitated teenage girl immediately flung the screen door open with a slam.
"What?!" yelled the girl on a rising note. "What else could possibly be going on?" The girl looked about fifteen, a thin blonde with her hair tied back in a ponytail. Oddly, she was wearing a red T-shirt several sizes too small that left her torso exposed below the ribcage. Her other garment was a pair of khaki pants much too large that she was holding up with both hands. The girl seemed worked up to near hysteria.
In his best professional manner, Weaver said, "Good morning. We're looking for Greg or Pamela Finkle."
"They're both at work. And that leaves me here to try to keep my little brothers out of trouble. As IF! You wouldn't believe what they're up to today. This summer will never end." As she started to gesture, her pants fell down and she barely caught them in time. "Whoop."
From inside the house came a rapid drumming noise on the floor. The girl stepped aside and, as Weaver and Ming stared with their mouths falling open, a big land tortoise raced through the open door and out into the yard. It was running like a dog. The sight of an ungainly creature like that moving so quickly caught the KDF members off guard.
"The galloping tortoise..?" Tang Ming gasped.
"Oh, never mind him. That's Tobias. He just ate a whole head of iceberg lettuce and now he's excited. Listen, come with me. I have to see what those brats are wrecking now." The girl hitched up her sagging pants again, tried vainly to pull her T-shirt down past her ribs and led them around the side of the house to the back yard.
"My name's Taffy," she explained. "What exactly do you want with Mom and Dad anyway? Dang these clothes!" The tortoise came charging across the lawn to follow them, sniffing at Ming's pants cuff like a dog.
The expansive back yard was bordered by a white picket fence from the property next to them. Weaver and Ming stopped to stare at a crowd of a dozen preteens all screaming and giggling in excitement. A chubby boy in a green polo shirt and jeans stepped onto a copper plate four feet across. On the other side of the yard, a girl in a yellow sundress hopped up on to an identical copper plate. There was a blinding white flash of light that dazzled the eyes and, when it faded, the boy and girl were somehow wearing each other's clothes. The watching crowd of kids shrieked in delight, hopping up and down.
Black Angel noticed that all the children were wearing clothes that didn't fit or seemed gender inappropriate mostly with skirts on boys and long baggy shorts on girls. Had they all been switching their outfits? He met Ming's confused stare and shrugged. "I can't explain it either."
"Barnabas and Ben!" snapped Taffy. "You two are in such trouble. I called Mom, you two are gonna be so busted."
IV.
Standing next to a redwood picnic table covered with odd devices made of the copper-colored metal were two boys about nine years old. They smiled at Taffy's tirade with affectionate tolerance. The smaller of the two had bristling red hair and a pointed nose that dominated his face. His brother was a few inches taller, had brown hair combed straight back and a more serious, thoughtful face. Both boys were wearing dark blue shorts and white polo shirts with horizontal stripes. The smaller brother's shirt had red stripes, the taller one had green stripes.
"Hi, sis!" sang out the smaller boy happily.
"Don't you 'hi sis' me, Barnabus. These brats had better get their own clothes back on right now or else!" Taffy yelled.
"You look kinda uncomfortable in Singh's shirt and Rocky's pants," Barnabus observed. "Why don't you step up on the transfer plate and see if you get something that fits a little better?"
While Taffy argued with her brothers, Stephen Weaver looked over the assorted gadgets on the picnic table. All were crafted of the metal which first seemed to be copper but which had more of a hot ruddy sheen to it. There was a shallow basin-type helmet with vertical ear protectors and a dial on top. There was a sort of sceptre ending in an oval bulb, several round discs holding cloudy glass lenses and a few devices which seemed to be just irregular scraps of metal.
Ming had come over to see what he was doing. "Are these the Zhune relics you mentioned?"
"I think so. Very ancient, I guess they date back to just after the Darthan Age. This is what Karl Eldritch will be looking for." A stack of thick hardbound books sat on one end of the table. Black Angel read the titles. PROBLEMS IN QUANTUM PHYSICS. SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES UNISON THEORY. ADVANCES IN OMNIVERSAL THINKING. He blinked.
Seeing Barnabus watching him, Weaver asked, "Aren't you boys a little young to be reading college level textbooks?"
"Yes," said Barnabus casually. "Yes, we are."
At this point, Taffy Finkle stomped her feet and went off fuming, muttering something about getting some of her own clothes from her room. The oversized pants fell down one final time, tangling up her legs but she got back up again and stamped away with a red face. Ming was distracted for a second as the tortoise Tobias got up on its hind legs as if begging for food and then raced off across the yard. She shook her head and turned her attention to the two boys who were staring at her. "Hello. Hi, my name is Tang Ming. This is my friend Stephen. So, you two are Barnabus and Ben, I guess. These artifacts belong to you boys?"
"Absolutely," Barnabus said. "Ben and I dug them up in the corner of the yard. We were looking for Indian arrowheads but these gadgets are so much more fun. Would you and your friend like to switch clothes?"
This offer caught Tang Ming offguard and the mental image struck her as so amusing that she was reduced to helpless giggling. Weaver stepped in, pointing at the Zhune relics on the table. "Those devices are incredibly old," he explained. "How did you guys know how to use them?"
"Oh, it was easy. The helmet teaches you." Barnabus went over and clicked the dial on top of the helmet clockwise. "I like science, I'm a nerd, I admit it. The helmet showed me how matter and energy are really the same thing, it's just how you look at it."
"Really," Weaver said. He hesitated, uncertain how to handle this situation.
So far, the taller brother Ben had not spoken. He just watched and listened. From time to time, he glanced contentedly over at the gaggle of over-excited kids rejoicing in wearing the wrong clothes and looking ridiculous in them.
"So, ummm... Ah, what else do these Zhune gadgets do, Barnabus?" asked Weaver. He started to reach for the sceptre, but the little redhead cleared his throat as a warning.
"They won't work for anyone but me and Ben, mister. That's because we were the ones who put on the helmet. So far, these have been the best toys ever. That horn shrinks people down to a few inches tall for an hour. That baton we haven't tried yet. We're saving it for tomorrow...."
Watching with hands clasped behind her, Tang Ming finally managed to keep a serious expression on her face. She leaned forward. "I don't see where you boys are doing any harm. My perception tells me that the charge powering these artifacts is running down. I don't think they will function much longer, to be honest."
"As long as they help us have the best summer ever!" Barnabus said. He was almost knocked down as the tortoise charged up and slammed headlong into his legs. The redheaded boy reached down and started scratched the reptile under the chin, which seemed to please it immensely. "Hey, Tobias, who's a good boy then? Huh?"
"You don't normally see a tortoise race around like that," Weaver said, unable to believe the words which were coming out of his mouth. "Did you do that to him with one of these gimmicks?"
"Wellll, not exactly. Tobias ate one of the toys. It was a little thing, like a button with two studs on one size. He used to be small enough you could carry him in one hand," Barnabus explained. "I didn't expect him to be so active. Usually, they don't do much."
"Hopefully, he has stopped growing," said Ben, speaking for the first time in a rather deep voice for a nine year old.
Tang Ming abruptly grabbed Weaver by one arm. "Stephen! Something is approaching. Hostile gralic force, anger, strength.. Be ready. We are in great danger."
"Maybe we should get away from these children," Black Angel said. He looked over at the crowd. Some of the boys were swapping shirts to get their own back, and two of the girls had gone behind a tree to trade shorts. "We don't want to endanger them...."
Before they could relocate, a car door slammed and a huge hulk in a tailored suit complete with vest and matching handkerchief loomed up around the corner of the house. Everyone froze where they were. Even the galloping tortoise skidded to a halt.
V.
It was not just his great size or his sour attitude that made Karl Eldritch so intimidating. On a subconscious level, people recognized that here was a seething mass of primal energy that their brains did not know how to process. Years earlier, the warlock had learned the ultimate secret of ancient Zhune. The conversion of matter into energy and energy into matter made him, for all practical purposes, immortal and indestructible. Even Tel Shai knights like Stephen Weaver and Tang Ming shrank back unknowingly in his presence.
The tension of the moment was broken because, at that instant, one of the girls stepped on a copper plate even though no one was on the other disc for the switch. In a vague flash of light, her clothes appeared on the other plate and she was left standing there naked. Her piercing scream rang out for miles and she leaped over to snatch up her clothing quicker than any Olympic athlete could have matched. The girl dove headfirst into the bushes, out of sight, and started climbing back into her jeans and shirt.
"Haw-HAW!" laughed one kid. "Did anyone see a plucked chicken just run past?"
"I do NOT look like a chicken!" yelled the girl from the bushes. After this, the crowd of children went back to their former level of giggling and running around in circles for no discernible reason. At this point, almost all of them were wearing clothes which were not their own and which fit them as poorly as you might expect.
Even Karl Eldritch had been distracted by these shenanigans despite himself. When he sternly swung around again to face the two KDF members, he did not notice Tang Ming's hand dropping away from the Zhune helmet on the table. The giant warlock went over and bent low over the ancient relics.
"More treasures from the lost wisdom of the ancients," he rumbled in a bass so deep it was difficult to understand. He glared up at Tang Ming and scowled. "You are not familiar. We have not met before. But you.. the levitator, the so-called Black Angel, we have crossed paths more than once."
"I thought that giant squid ate you," Weaver said. "At least, that's what everyone hoped."
Beneath shaggy brows, the hazel eyes focused on his enemies like weapons. "By now, you fools should realize that I cannot be killed. I am immortal. The most you can do is put me at an inconvenience for a short time. But before we conclude this meeting, where is your leader?"
"Oh, you never know," Weaver replied lightly. "He might be sneaking up behind you right now."
"Bah. You waste my time and yours." Eldritch reached down and lifted the copper-colored basin helmet, turning it from side to side.
"Hey, mister," Barnabus yelled. "Those are ours! We dug them up in our yard and they are our property."
"Silence! I do not normally slay children." Eldritch raised the helmet and prepared to lower it onto his shaven head. "These Zhune relics are almost out of charge. Soon they will be of no use to anyone but myself."
"That's it, I'm calling Dad. Come on, Ben." But the boy stopped short as Tang Ming placed a slim hand on his shoulder.
"Trust me, Barnabus," she said in almost a whisper. "Everything will turn out for the best."
Placing the helmet firmly on his huge bald dome, Eldritch smiled for the first time anyone could remember. "This was the teaching device Zhune scholars used for new students. I see its effect explains how these urchins can use the Zhune artifacts at all. I will give the helmet a full charge..."
Intolerably bright white energy crackled around the helmet, casting strange shadows and leaving everyone with dark spots swimming in front of their eyes. For a moment, no one moved. Then they noticed Karl Eldritch was standing still, arms hanging down at his side, his face blank. His mouth hung open slackly.
Seeing this, Weaver stepped closer. "Now what?"
Tang Ming came up beside him, got up on her toes and barely managed to lift the helmet off the warlock's head. The metal was warm to the touch. "I believe everything will be all right now."
"What the hell? He seems kinda, well.. brain-dead."
The Chinese girl replaced the helmet to the picnic table and smiled at the baffled Barnabus and Ben. "When your friend distracted everyone by going all natural, I took advantage of the moment. I twisted the dial on the helmet all the way around. It seems to have worked."
"You set it to reverse!" Black Angel laughed. "Oh, that's perfect. Instead of feeding information into his mind, the helmet drained everything out."
"I like him better this way," Tang Ming admitted. Eldritch still had not moved. She folded her arms and regarded him warily. "We'll meet Jeremy at the airfield, he can take charge of this monster. I am uncomfortable just standing next to him."
"Sounds good. Tell you what, We'll haul this big galoot into his own car and I'll drive it back to where the CORBY is stored. You follow in the rental car. Kids, I'm afraid I have bad news."
The little redeaded boy was visibly deflated but he was trying to be brave. "You're gonna take the toys, aren't you?"
"I'm afraid we have to. Not that I don't want you to have fun with them. But this guy here will revert to normal sooner or later. He'll come back to claim these relics and I have to tell you, he's a wicked man. He'll hurt you and your family without thinking twice. I hope you understand."
"I guess," Barnabus grumbled, kicking at the dirt with the toe of his sneaker. "But I don't have to like it."
Tang Ming squatted down in front of the two nine year olds. "I am so sorry, boys. But maybe we can make it up to you. I will come back in a day or so and give everyone kung fu lessons. Does that sound okay?"
"Sure. You know kung fu?"
"I've studied since childhood," she told them. "Free lessons for everyone and I'll even do some tricks. You can throw coins from across the yard and I'll catch them blindfolded. Okay?"
"That does sound cool. Deal!"
Weaver and Ming loaded Karl Eldritch and the Zhune relics into the cars, made final apologies and promised to return. "This was the least violent case I've ever been on," Black Angel chuckled. After they drove away, the children settled down and gradually began swapping their clothes back so they wouldn't get in trouble when they went home. The party was definitely winding down. Not long after that, the older Finkle sibling came charging into the yard with their mother in tow.
"You see? You see what they're doing!" Taffy yelled and then her voice trailed down, "They're... just kind of.. standing around?"
Mrs Finkle made an exasperated clucking sound and went back inside the house. "One of these days, Taffy, your imagination is going to get you in trouble."
Suppertime seemed close because the children began to drift away from the yard, waving goodbye and calling out cheery farewells. One girl sang out, "I'll come by tomorrow to see whatcha doing!"
Barnabus turned to his slightly older brother. "Well, Ben, that was an amazing day. And you know what I didn't remember to tell those grown-ups?"
"No," Ben replied in his usual taciturn way.
"That helmet! It sort of fired my imagination up, Ben. I can visualize how to build all sorts of neat things like a solar-powered roller coaster or a pool under the surface of the lawn. My brain is just racing! We've got the whole summer to invent amazing things, Ben." He was interrupted as the tortoise galloped up and bumped into his shins. "Oh, there you are, Tobias."
8/21/2016
