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"Boss, That Dog Just Ate My Gun!"
Mar. 9th, 2025 06:29 pm"Boss, That Dog Just Ate My Gun"
10/9/2021
I
Everyone gasped when Galvan broke his cane over the little dog's head. Not that the dog seemed to mind. He resembled a short haired terrier, tan and white, not more than a year old. The thick cane snapped cleanly as it came down hard across his skull.
"Oh my God!" yelled Timothy Limbo, diving off the couch to kneel in front of the puppy, who happily greeted him with tail wagging. "He's not hurt?"
Picking up the broken piece of the cane, Galvan laughed. He looked like the classic stereotype of a lumberjack, a huge burly man in work boots, tough pants and plaid flannel shirt. The curly brown hair and beard, the blindingly white teeth and the deep baritone voice completed the image. "Oh, Tim, you don't think I'd hurt my Bruno, do you?"
"No, no, of course not but..." At this point, the dog had evidently accepted Tim as his new best friend and was licking Tim's hands with enthusiasm.
Watching from the doorway, Ashley Whitaker laughed. "That's the toughest Jack Russell ever! I didn't know that even Melgar dogs were superhuman errr supercanine." The little platinum blonde dropped to her knees next to Tim and started cooing, "Who's a good boy, yes you are..."
Galvan pulled over a chair for himself. "He really likes you two. I'm glad. Melgar fox-hunter dogs are friendly and good-natured but I didn't expect him to warm up to strangers so quickly."
Tearing himself away from the pup, Timothy reached over to grin at his teammate. "Tell you a secret? It's the Tagra tea diet we're on. Tel Shai knights have a clean mint odor that animals love. Even predators tend to disregard us unless we provoke them. We're like, well, dognip if there is such thing."
"TIM-othy!" objected the Unicorn, who had both arms around the dog at this point and was carrying him around. "It's because dogs are excellent judges of character! Bruno can tell we are just wonderful people."
"But hold on, since when did you have an invulnerable dog?" asked Tim. "I think I'd remember you telling us about that."
"This is something new," Galvan told him. "You know how roughly each generation of Melgarin has a boy or girl born with the Legacy of Malberon? How we develop strength and resilience beyond what flesh and blood can bear without a gralic charge? Valera was the last such heir and she was born in 1940..."
"Wait, Valera is eighty years old?! I'd swear she was maybe thirty at the most?" protested the Unicorn.
"Our average lifespan is greater than yours," Galvan said. "So, my people expected a new heir to the Legacy in a decade or two. Then, a goatherd named Berenthir saw his new puppy knock down a split-rail gate to chase a squirrel. Somehow, Bruno has inherited the Legacy."
Ashley bent over and lowered Bruno to the floor. "Ummm, I'm cuddling an animal that can bite through granite...?"
"It's fine, it's fine," Galvan assured her, scratching the dog behind one ear. "Bruno's a good boy. Right, my friend? Melgar hounds are well-behaved."
Timothy Limbo had dropped down on the end of the brown leather couch. Bruno came over to sit next to him, resting his muzzle on Tim's knee and gazing up with adoring eyes. "So, Galvan, as much as your doggo has won our hearts, is there some reason you brought him here today?"
"I'm afraid so," the giant Melgar admitted. "Bruno is official a ward of the Androval court. Since I have my time occupied with my wife and our new son, King Holmir has decided that Sulak should take charge of the pup. But, as you might expect, Sulak is not to be found. He was last known to be in the Northwest Mountains fighting Trolls. My king has charged me with finding Sulak and dragging him back to Androval to take care of Bruno here."
Ashley had remained standing, resting one slim hip on the edge of Sable's desk. "Hey... wait a minute..."
"Obedient and good-natured Bruno may be, yet he is still a dog and prone to sudden enthusiasm," said Galvan. "Except for Sulak, Valera and myself, he is the strongest living creature in any realm. But I have one friend who is able to watch him safely."
The petite blonde waved an index finger from side to side in denial. "Oh no. I'm not dog sitting something that can knock a house down. Take him with you."
"With your sacred Horn, you can damp the gralic charge from his body. He will be a normal playful dog for an hour while the Unicorn spell lasts." Galvan rose to his feet, towering six inches over six feet tall and massing nearly three hundred pounds of hard muscle. Mild as his demeanor was, his sheer presence was intimidating. "I knew I could count on you, Ashley. And you as well, Tim. Bruno...Stay!"
With that the Melgar champion simply left the room and was out the front door before the Unicorn could muster an objection. For once, her glibness failed her. She crossed over to sit next to Timothy and asked, "Why didn't you say anything to stop him?"
"Hmm? I was feeding Bruno a pepperoni Slim Jim. He likes it. Say, did Galvan say if he was housebroken?"
( the rest of the story )
10/9/2021
I
Everyone gasped when Galvan broke his cane over the little dog's head. Not that the dog seemed to mind. He resembled a short haired terrier, tan and white, not more than a year old. The thick cane snapped cleanly as it came down hard across his skull.
"Oh my God!" yelled Timothy Limbo, diving off the couch to kneel in front of the puppy, who happily greeted him with tail wagging. "He's not hurt?"
Picking up the broken piece of the cane, Galvan laughed. He looked like the classic stereotype of a lumberjack, a huge burly man in work boots, tough pants and plaid flannel shirt. The curly brown hair and beard, the blindingly white teeth and the deep baritone voice completed the image. "Oh, Tim, you don't think I'd hurt my Bruno, do you?"
"No, no, of course not but..." At this point, the dog had evidently accepted Tim as his new best friend and was licking Tim's hands with enthusiasm.
Watching from the doorway, Ashley Whitaker laughed. "That's the toughest Jack Russell ever! I didn't know that even Melgar dogs were superhuman errr supercanine." The little platinum blonde dropped to her knees next to Tim and started cooing, "Who's a good boy, yes you are..."
Galvan pulled over a chair for himself. "He really likes you two. I'm glad. Melgar fox-hunter dogs are friendly and good-natured but I didn't expect him to warm up to strangers so quickly."
Tearing himself away from the pup, Timothy reached over to grin at his teammate. "Tell you a secret? It's the Tagra tea diet we're on. Tel Shai knights have a clean mint odor that animals love. Even predators tend to disregard us unless we provoke them. We're like, well, dognip if there is such thing."
"TIM-othy!" objected the Unicorn, who had both arms around the dog at this point and was carrying him around. "It's because dogs are excellent judges of character! Bruno can tell we are just wonderful people."
"But hold on, since when did you have an invulnerable dog?" asked Tim. "I think I'd remember you telling us about that."
"This is something new," Galvan told him. "You know how roughly each generation of Melgarin has a boy or girl born with the Legacy of Malberon? How we develop strength and resilience beyond what flesh and blood can bear without a gralic charge? Valera was the last such heir and she was born in 1940..."
"Wait, Valera is eighty years old?! I'd swear she was maybe thirty at the most?" protested the Unicorn.
"Our average lifespan is greater than yours," Galvan said. "So, my people expected a new heir to the Legacy in a decade or two. Then, a goatherd named Berenthir saw his new puppy knock down a split-rail gate to chase a squirrel. Somehow, Bruno has inherited the Legacy."
Ashley bent over and lowered Bruno to the floor. "Ummm, I'm cuddling an animal that can bite through granite...?"
"It's fine, it's fine," Galvan assured her, scratching the dog behind one ear. "Bruno's a good boy. Right, my friend? Melgar hounds are well-behaved."
Timothy Limbo had dropped down on the end of the brown leather couch. Bruno came over to sit next to him, resting his muzzle on Tim's knee and gazing up with adoring eyes. "So, Galvan, as much as your doggo has won our hearts, is there some reason you brought him here today?"
"I'm afraid so," the giant Melgar admitted. "Bruno is official a ward of the Androval court. Since I have my time occupied with my wife and our new son, King Holmir has decided that Sulak should take charge of the pup. But, as you might expect, Sulak is not to be found. He was last known to be in the Northwest Mountains fighting Trolls. My king has charged me with finding Sulak and dragging him back to Androval to take care of Bruno here."
Ashley had remained standing, resting one slim hip on the edge of Sable's desk. "Hey... wait a minute..."
"Obedient and good-natured Bruno may be, yet he is still a dog and prone to sudden enthusiasm," said Galvan. "Except for Sulak, Valera and myself, he is the strongest living creature in any realm. But I have one friend who is able to watch him safely."
The petite blonde waved an index finger from side to side in denial. "Oh no. I'm not dog sitting something that can knock a house down. Take him with you."
"With your sacred Horn, you can damp the gralic charge from his body. He will be a normal playful dog for an hour while the Unicorn spell lasts." Galvan rose to his feet, towering six inches over six feet tall and massing nearly three hundred pounds of hard muscle. Mild as his demeanor was, his sheer presence was intimidating. "I knew I could count on you, Ashley. And you as well, Tim. Bruno...Stay!"
With that the Melgar champion simply left the room and was out the front door before the Unicorn could muster an objection. For once, her glibness failed her. She crossed over to sit next to Timothy and asked, "Why didn't you say anything to stop him?"
"Hmm? I was feeding Bruno a pepperoni Slim Jim. He likes it. Say, did Galvan say if he was housebroken?"
( the rest of the story )
